Stop Waiting.

What's the matter with you?

What are you waiting for?

Go already. Do it. Be free. Take the chance. Hit it! Attack! Action! Chaaaaarge!!!

...

What's the matter?

Doubt, hesitation, digression, distraction, temptation, aggravation, fear.

The damn fear.

...

Well, you can't wait anymore. What are you waiting for? Stop sitting and staring. Stop hesitating. Screw the signal and just make a break for it. Sounds like you're escaping from something? Damn right. Leave the past behind. The only way to help yourself is to think of the present. Think of the present, then think of the future.

Don't wait. Don't cling to that memory. Don't think you can afford to wait for the right moment to come for you. Time waits for no one. Do what you can. Do not wait for a familiar feeling before you could begin to fathom the kind of chaos you'd be in the next time you wake up.

...

I still have to wait for the breakdown to arrive-- yet there's no time! *snap* *snap*

Results are baaad. Gonna retake, gotta. As for A2, it's not so bad, if you don't go for the classes... eh, wait...

It was shocking, for a while, then it just sank in, then I accepted that retakes were in order. No pouting, no tears, no whining, no bitching, just a heavy feeling of regret and disappointment.

GAh. This is just depressing. In other news!

Today, a friend and classmate has officially dropped English Literature. We will miss you dearly... eh, that's depressing too. >.< Adibah! Do your best!!!

Alright, onward now...

Class activities consists of the usual dose of Maths questions, Chemistry notes and exercises, colourful point-form Biology .ppt slides, and dissecting of 14th century English of Chaucer in Lit. Give me a reason.

Also, I know these words are overripe, but damn, its just plain rude to push people.

Dinner's awaiting, off I go! Stay sane, readers.

Love,

ViatoretVenus

Waiting

...

12 hours until results come out.

Come on then, bring it.

What else to do except wait it out? There's schoolwork - doing that. There's cleaning room - work-in-progresscough. There's a good movie - that comes later. There's dinner - in a while now. There's more schoolwork, research and revision... - okay, that one is endless.

I'm nervous.

Ehehehehe.

Urgh. Headache.

For a while, I've been getting upset about food and meals. Anything that is the slightest bit unattractive and strange-smelling, I lose my appetite. This could be because of the dreadful wait, but I really have no motivation to eat, even anything gourmet or special doesn't spur me. However...

I always love Milo.

Ah. A nice, steaming-hot cup on a cool, wet evening at home.

I am going to spoil dinner, but I don't want to miss this good chance to have a good cup of Milo. The conditions are perfect (lol sound familiar?). *sip* ahh...

Dinner tonight is Chicken cooked in ginger and rice wine as the main dish, leftover Bak-Kut-Teh, leftover fish, leftover... hmm where is this going?

Well, just finished dinner, the chicken was good, the Bak-Kut-Teh still great, the fish left out almost completely. Now back to schoolwork.

Here's some thoughts I might stress out:

Memory is important. If you can't remember happiness, how will you ever be happy? How would you live with yourself?

If you need something significant for memories, you have to be creative, you have to be yourself.

What is the point of learning something if you forget it? You must practice and apply, or only learn what you are certain that you need to know. Don't need to while away time that will not return.

Everything you do drives your fate. Do what you wish, whatever it may be.

Off I go. Have a good night, readers. Stop facebooking and sleep.

Love,

ViatoretVenus

...in my dreams, I'm always searching...

More peaceful now

You want to let go but you're still holding on.

You want to take the challenge but you're also afraid of the danger.

You want to control this but you're simply losing it.

...

Well, the dredges from 2009 are still there. They won't go away if you don't clean the cup out before another drink. That stuff accumulates the more you delay from taking care of it. Not good for your health.

Semester 3 of Cambridge A-Levels kicks into high gear. Its A2 syllabus, which means busy busy busy. I have a better track of mind this year, as well as super short attention span and lots more daydreaming. If there's anything I (was supposed to have) learnt over the past years, it would be to avoid distractions and really focus (on my plans and a career). That has got to be a daily mantra of mine from now on. However, there's just another problem. I keep saying it as "a" career, and not "the" career. *strained silence*

I think I may have finally stepped down from the pedestal of clouds that I call my dreams. I'm seeing a bit more of reality as how I used to see it, again.

Moving on to recent events. Today was ECA drive day. Busy busy busy. College was packed with students on the ground floor, ambling from end to end on which clubs to join. Several clubs had put up some interesting stuff, like the Theatre Club that got over 100 members thanks to their great persuasion and communication (coughdrama!!!) skills, the Anime club for their cosplay and pretty posters and artwork, the MADU (Make a Difference) club for their sense of purpose, and the Tree Huggers club who was the grand winner of the best organised etc club.

Being stationed at the Arts and Crafts Club, I watched as groups of people shuffle past like broken segments of a train. People came and went. Had a laugh with our rivals neighbours in the meantime. I learned how to do an origami sampan while I was there. ^^

Ah... don't you just wish there was more time, or time would pass slower, or the good moments last longer, or the bad moments be shorter...

Life goes on.

Fare thee well, readers. Have a good night and pleasant dremes!

Love,

ViatoretVenus

I feel like this.

Hysteresis
1. the lag in response exhibited in a body in reacting to a changes in the forces, esp. magnetic forces affecting it.
2. the phenomenon exhibited by a system, often a ferromagnetic or imperfectly elastic material, in which the reaction of the system to changes is dependent upon its past reactions to change.

What's changing, really?

Love,

ViatoretVenus

Happy New Year!

Its already Jan 5Th, but I'd like to post something about the new year, so happy new year readers!


...



2009...



You are now a memory. Still fresh and stinging, but all in the past now.



2009... you were cruel and cold. You were fiery and fierce. You had your ways. You were gentler than no other, most wise, sound, sharp, sweet...







Now, you are gone.







A pale few years came to pass, and so did you. And at the end of you, I had the most interesting revelations I've ever had.







So, I thank you.







I'll also add...







WHY TEHFUK WERE YOU SO GODDAMNED ANNOYING ALL YEAR ROUND?!?! HURH?!?!







Don't bother answering anymore rhetorical questions. Just don't.







Happy New Year everyone!







...







Tons of things happened. Countless thoughts have run through my mind for the past year, most of which are impossible to document, even comment on. Most of those thoughts were fearful. I braved through it. I know I did. To some extent. Right? Right???





Today, I'm going to go to Krabi, Thailand with Rach until the 8th. Flying off in less than 12 hours. Warnings have been heard and taken to heart. Will watch out for unruly weather, strange people, rough waters and curious treats. Will be careful and look out for each other. Ich. Can I get a blessing, anyone? Heh.





I'm excited. I'm excited enough to feel queasy. Then again, the queasiness may have come from the new year -- I haven't been myself. I feel so disturbed. I feel out of place, awkward, ruffled. Much like a night's sleep on the wrong side of the bed, somewhat.





For every new year, there's always some little enlightenment that I'm blessed with when waking up in the morning. For that, I am grateful. How long it has been since I had a normal day, or a good night's sleep for that matter? I sleep into the afternoon, but the sleep is not always the glorified rest I want. For this past holiday, that sleep has been really going haywire. Its upsetting my waking life a little.





Moving on, I can use this post to explain my short absence from the internet over the holidays.





From the 27th December 2009 to 30th December 2009, I went to Kota Kinabalu to climb Mount Kinabalu.





What An Experience That Was.

Recognise this?!

Pain. Thirst. Cold. Hot. Pain. Wind. Sun. Steps. More Pain. Rope. Steep. Climb. Yet more pain. More steps. Tired. Yet more steps. PAIN.

But Beautiful.

Mom said that the weather was the best there was: No rain, all sun and shine, not too hot or cold, clear skies, perfect for the sunrise. Said that we were lucky. I concur.

I shall continue this story another time. Will be back on the 8th to post more about Mt. Kinabalu together with Krabi, Thailand. For now, I must sleep.

Its 2:47 AM. Clocking out. Please be safe everyone, wherever you are.

Love,

ViatoretVenus